Gifts

This was a sweet little perk I didn't expect.  Teachers get gifts, and not all gifts are apples (yet you will find that you may receive all sorts of apple-related gifts...apple-scented candles, apple notepads, apple jewelry, apple charms, and of course the gift that started it all...the apple).

You will need to learn how to look thankful and appreciative when receiving something special from a student, even when you have absolutely no idea what the gift is, or why you are getting it.  ALL gifts deserve thank you notes (this is just a good life skill), so you might want to stock up on “A Note From Your Teacher” stationery now (they do look a bit classier than a hasty note scribbled on a sheet of notebook paper ripped from a Steno pad).  Regardless of how random the gift seems, remember that your student picked it out for you, so you will need to find something nice to say about it.  Here are a few examples:

Gift	What You Can Say About It
See-through purple tank-top, size large, tags still attached, deodorant marks on the armpits	Dear ______, Thank you so much for the lovely purple top.  You know that purple is my favorite color!  It is very pretty, and I can’t wait to wear it for a very special occasion.
A snow globe with a religious figure inside	Dear _______, Thank you so much for the beautiful snow globe!  It will certainly brighten up my desk at home.
A golf ball clock, batteries dead	Dear _________, Thank you so much for the golf ball clock!  You must have remembered that I said that I tried to learn how to play golf one day.  It will be very useful on my work desk at home.

When at a loss, you can use the words “I will think of you every time that I look at it,” and that usually makes for a good ending to your note.

You may also find that you appreciate hand-made cards and gifts more than monetary presents.  While gifts cards are AMAZING and ever-so-useful, the special notes are the ones that make it into the permanent collection*.

(Though any of these beat getting a gift card HOLDER with no gift card inside...true story)

*Permanent Collection - Old wine box that contains the notes. cards, and handmade gifts that are too special to throw away

Bathroom Breaks

Teachers don’t get them.  Hang on, I take that back.  Teachers do get two well-deserved bathroom breaks; one is during lunch, and the second is when the school day is over.   Much like a person can train their body to get ready for a marathon, a teacher has to train her bladder to get ready for the school year.  I learned a little something about coffee as well…that being to NOT drink two cups of coffee in the morning when lunch is an agonizing four hours away.  Coffee contains caffeine, which, as it turns out, is a diuretic (I had to look that one up!).  A diuretic increases the flow of urine to rid the body of excess water.  In layman’s terms, it makes you pee…a lot.  It’s a bit ironic, as coffee seems to be a lifeline for a majority of teachers who wake up before the sun to get to school to prepare for the day.  I can offer just a few tips for this conundrum:

·               Hope and pray for a bathroom INSIDE the classroom (these mostly occur in kindergarten or first grade classrooms).

·               Get well-acquainted to those in neighboring classrooms, as they can be your lookout buddies.  That is, once your students are miraculously working on something quietly, your lookout buddy can listen out to make sure your students don’t start a wrestling match as you run to the bathroom in the next hall over.

·               Make a sign with the words “Bathroom Break PLEASE” to hang out of your door.  Then wait, and hope that some kind soul comes by to watch your class while you empty your bladder.

·               Don’t drink anything in the morning; wait until summer to get your daily caffeine fix.