Oh, so pleather pants aren't appropriate to wear to school? Ever?

I thank my lucky stars every day that Facebook wasn’t around in my college years, as it would have been a scrapbook for all sorts of bad decisions, highlighted by pictures of me in my club-going gear.  Nary was there a night out from 2002 to 2005 where I thought it would be a good idea to cover up my stomach or to not wear a lace top with only a black bra underneath (thank you Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera for being my fashion icons).  Ah college memories…

But I digress…

Suffice to say, when I got my real-person-grown-up job, I had a bit of closet-cleaning to do.  Apparently it’s not appropriate to wear pleather pants and a Lycra top to school (I know, right??  I was just as surprised as you!).  While I am fairly embarrassed to say that I wore the above-named “pleather bonanza” outfit to more than one ‘N Sync concert because I was under the impression that I was dressed “nicely,” it soon became apparent that I had to retrain my brain as to what was considered a “nice outfit,” and also “school appropriate.”

If you are currently going through the same dilemma that I went through, this “Is My Outfit School Appropriate?” Flow chart may be of some assistance.

Now, while I think men are super—granted, I have a husband, and he’s a pretty cool guy (I mean, to put up with me, he’s gotta be, bless his heart), and I also have several male celebrity crushes (Justin Timberlake, Zac Efron, I won’t bore you with my whole list)—the thing is though, I am not a man.  To quote Elaine from Seinfeld, “I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things!”  So I kinda know a little bit about men’s clothes, but not really all that much.  And while teaching is a predominantly female field (don’t jump down my throat, I’m not being sexist, it just is), there are a good number of phenomenal male teachers.  For such folk, I also have created the “Is My Outfit School Appropriate?” Male Edition flow chart.  To their credit, guys are usually pretty good about dressing for school, but just in case…

There is one addendum, one trump card if you will:  Spirit Days!  For some teachers, it brings about feelings of annoyance and dread (“kids are crazy every day, they don’t need any reason to start acting CRAZIER!”).  I am not one of those teachers.  I love spirit days!  Any chance to wear pajamas to school is a good day in my book.  On spirit days, the majority of the above rules don't apply (pleather pants are always a no-go, just FYI).  So go all out on spirit days, you have my permission…just make sure you’re fairly covered up and your PJ pants aren’t made of material that is so thin it’s almost see-through (true story).

A Small Sampling of the Weird Things Kids Do

I was a weird kid.  Well, to be honest, I’m a fairly weird adult.  But as a child…definitely one of the, uh, different ones.  I once got a stick of clay (not quite sure how…perhaps I stole it from the art room?  I wouldn't put it past me) and used it to make a home for my invisible friend Odda that lived in my desk.  I of course would check on it often, just to see how Odda was doing and make sure his home had not been subject to a flash earthquake or a surprise desk cleaning.  But I digress…

Kids do some odd things.  But apparently, these odd things are actually…normal.  A few things you might find in your classroom.

Tiny Pencils

Every year, it seems as though I have kids who almost fight to have the tiniest of the tiny pencils.  This little speck of wood that really should have been thrown away 4 inches ago SOMEHOW finds its way back into its owner’s pencil case.  Whereas a normal-sized pencil looks like this…

Apparently it’s comfortable, and perhaps somehow a status symbol, to use a pencil that looks more like this:

Oh, I know you’ve seen this tiny wonder.  An inch, or perhaps even a centimeter of yellow, the eraser nothing more than a nub.  The truly impressive ones don’t have any yellow, and are rather the metal casing that holds the eraser and a bit of pencil lead.  Just looking at these makes my hand cramp up with sympathy pains, yet these pencils are used until they can no longer even make it far enough into the pencil sharpener to get sharpened, and sometimes even THAT does not stop them.  My point is, there’s no stopping them.  They will show up every year, like that concert tee that you just CAN’T get rid of because it reminds you of the good times you had jamming out to Tiffany or New Kids on the Block (true story).  You can always try to implement the Tiny Pencil Museum (thank you GroveGuy for this idea:  http://thegroveguy.blogspot.com/2014/05/tiny-pencil-museum.html) , but even that takes some upkeep.  Choose your battles.  Look, shake your head, roll your eyes in that teacher-y waythat seems to convey the “Seriously?!  This again?! Look, and move on to the next baffler…

Using Paper Clips as Non-Paper Clips

I suppose I can empathize with this one.  I once decided to make my own jewelry.  Now, keep in mind, this was waaaaay before the days of Esty and Pinterest, and I was 8, so my jewelry looked more like, uh, junk.  But I was a determined little child, spurred on by the likes of Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead,  and thought that paper clips would just make the BEST earrings.  So I tinkered and toiled and bent and finagled, until I had earrings that threaded through my earring holes by way of a paper clip spoke, and hung down to my shoulders.  Basically, I had connected about 5 different-colored paper clips, and stuck one of them through my ear.  High class personified, if I did so say myself.  Rushing to show my mom, she immediately told me to take the monstrosities out of my ears, because they could get infected (every mother’s excuse *sigh*), and thus my days of jewelry making were over.

My point is, I kind of get the appeal that paper clips present to youngsters.  I suppose there’s something about having pliable metal literally in your fingertips that is extremely enticing.  And kids will find paper clips.  Everywhere.  Even when you think you’ve disposed of them all, they just…show up.  The only feasible explanation is that once boxes of paper clips enter a school building, they are somehow bewitched to never end up in the trash can, but rather in little nooks and crannies of classrooms (under the carpet is a popular spot, just FYI).  And kids will find them.  And play with them.  Once a paper clip enters a child's hands, it becomes a fascinating piece of equipment that one can bend, unbend, bend, unbend, bend….usually during a lesson, mind you.  It is now no  longer a paper clip, but rather a bendy little poking device.  Kids will use these amazing contraptions to perform all sorts of tricks, most notably seeing how many times they can poke their neighbor without their neighbor noticing OR getting caught by the teacher (think of this as The Game of Chicken, Jr. Edition).  They use them to scrape out their nails (cue gagging noise), poke at scabs (again, cue gagging noise), and lightly scrape designs into their skin (predecessor to tattoos, perhaps?).  Consider these office supplies an indicator of a child’s inventiveness and creativity, work on developing a strong stomach, and just wordlessly pick them up out of children’s hands when you see them (sanitizing your own hands immediately after, of course).

First Day Jitters, and Other Such Issues

The First Day of School

Regardless of whether you’ve been teaching for 1 year, 10 years, or 50 years (and if you’ve been teaching for 50 years, then damn…my hat is off to you), the first day of school still evokes those nervous little butterflies.  And OH, the PREPARATION!  I still set my clothes out the night before (and let’s be honest…my first day outfit has been picked out for a week at least…something very teacher-y, of course), and have my lunch all ready to go.  But as much as you can prepare, the first day is nerve-wracking.  For reasons I never even THOUGHT of before I entered the teaching world.  Here are a few thoughts to get you over that first day hump.

Dress to Impress

You’ve heard the clichés:  dress for the job you want, not the job you have (so why don’t we all dress like Batman or Superwoman??), clothes make the man, never underestimate the power of a good outfit on a bad day, etc. etc.  But the thing is, it’s true.  If you look good, odds are, you probably feel good.  So find something that you love to wear, but still make sure to…

Test It Out
One of my absolute favorite outfits consists of a button-down shirt and a pencil skirt.  Which is great.  It looks professional, and I feel oh-so-good every time wear it.  So I chose it as a first day outfit.  Which was also great…until it was time to sit cross-cross applesauce on the carpet.  Not so great.  There is a LOT of carpet time in the younger grades (and some in the upper grades), so make sure your clothes allow you the freedom to sit on the ground.  And while we’re at it, ladies, do the cleavage test (Step 1:  Choose a top.  Step 2:  Put it on.  Step 3:  Bend over.  Step 4:  Ask yourself, “Can I see my cleavage, or worse yet, my bra?”  Step 5:   If the answer is no, then congratulations, you have passed the cleavage test!  If the answer is yes, so sorry, back to Step 1 for you.) and the tummy check (gone are the days of the Britney Spears era where showing your stomach was considered normal…if you raise your arms and a good bit of your stomach shows, choose something else).

Wear Comfortable Shoes…or at least, BRING Comfortable Shoes
I am one of the worst offenders of this.  Being only 5’…maybe 5’1” on a good day…I like to wear shoes that give me a little lift.  But by 10am, my little toesies are crying out in pain, and the only thought on my mind is “When the f@!$ can I take this damn shoes off of my feet?!?!”  Be it the blisters that develop every few minutes, or the constant pressure on the balls of my feet, by 11am, I am convinced that the Devil has created these evil evil things, and I can’t wait until specials so I can release my feet from their prison and let them breathe.  So here’s a compromise:  wear your fancy shoes in the morning, as this is when parents will be walking their little ones in, and you want to make sure you look extra nice.  CHANGE into your flip flops sometime before lunch.  Then, put your fancy shoes back on for dismissal.  No one will ever be the wiser (and if a student asks why you are now wearing flip flops, tell them that these are your secret magical teaching shoes).

Plan, Plan, and Overplan

Trust me.  It’s better to have too much than not enough.  But while you’re gathering your lesson ideas…

Don’t Even Bother Teaching Academics the First Day
I must say, this was a surprise to me.  But the first day is not to get your kids ready to learn the great teachings of Pythagoras.  Nope, the first day is to get your kids used to you, and to get you used to them.  Think of it as dipping your foot into a pool.  You want to get an idea of how the water feels first before you go in for the real thing.

Behavior
I always hit behavior hard the first few weeks…a good teacher once told me that “you can have the best lesson in the world, but if the kids won’t listen to you, it won’t even matter.”  BE CONSISTENT with this, and MODEL CORRECT BEHAVIOR.  If you don’t want your kids talking in the hallway, then you damn well better not be talking in the hallway yourself.  There are so many other things to say about behavior that I could write a book on it (and there are several for sale at your local Barnes and Noble or on Amazon), so I won’t bore you with that right now.  But I can’t stress enough the need to start off strict and consistent; if you start off this way, the kids will know exactly what to expect.

Supplies
While you're not teaching any academic stuff, use the first day to organize school supplies.  Kids LOVE school supplies, especially new, fresh, clean ones.  I also love school supplies, so this is just as exciting for me as it is for them.  I find it helpful to have spaces already set aside as to where you will put things (a spot for tissues, a spot for plastic baggies, a spot for notebooks, etc. etc.).  Have the kiddos label their own notebooks and whatnot that they will be keeping inside their desks.  For younger grades, GET RID OF CRAYON BOXES.  Dump those crayons right into the pencil case, along with markers, colored pencil, and glue sticks.  I prefer leaving pencils right on the desk in these beautiful desk plates (http://www.lakeshorelearning.com/product/productDet.jsp?productItemID=1%2C689%2C949%2C371%2C928%2C381&ASSORTMENT%3C%3East_id=1408474395181113&bmUID=1468078065531),  but I’ve also hot glued old soup cans to desks to serve as personal pencil cups (a bitch a clean off at the end of the school year—thank you Goo Gone) if you don’t want to spend the money.
BONUS:  Setting up materials usually takes up a big chunk of time!

Now What to Do With Them?

Everyone has their own old faithfuls that they rely on for beginning of the year activities.  I’ve found it most helpful to just have a pile of stuff ready to go, so you can just pick and choose what will fit in your time frame.  Scour Pinterest, Teachers Pay Teachers, Google, and just look for first day activities.  Some of my tried and true favorites are…

Jitter Juice
I got this adorable activity from TPT, included in this pack:
 https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Super-in-Second-Beginning-of-the-Year-Activities-for-2nd-Grade-145341 and oh my goodness, did my kiddos LOVE it!  It goes right along with the book First Day Jitters, which most kids have already heard, but this Jitter Juice brings it to a whole new level.

Wrinkled Heart
This is most certainly not new; the first time I encountered this gem was when I did my student teaching, and it really struck me!  The only caveat is that several kids may have already participated in this activity (“We did this LAST year!”).  You can tack this on to the end of your behavior lessons, or leave it as a standalone.  It usually drives the point home pretty well.  There are many many links to different ways to do this lesson, but this blog is one of my absolute favorites: http://firstgradewow.blogspot.com/2012/09/its-hard-to-fix-wrinkled-heart.html. If you’re worried that too many kids have already encountered this one, you can also do the Toothpaste Squirt lesson, shown here:  http://corkboardconnections.blogspot.com/2013/10/teaching-children-not-to-be-rude.html. It conveys a similar message, though you will be wasting a tube of toothpaste in the process.

Graph the Most Random Things
All you need for this activity are sticky notes, and possibly a piece of chart paper.  Have kids write THEIR NAME ONLY (this is also a good indicator of who can follow directions, wink wink) on the sticky note, and then pose a survey question.  You can ask about a favorite summer activity, favorite sweet treat, what they did on their summer vacation, etc. etc.  Draw a chart on the board or the chart paper with the different answer choices.  Have kids come up a few at a time to put their sticky under their answer choice.  You can then do different math-y activities with this…how many people answered the survey question in all?  How many people liked ___?  Which one did the most people choose?  How many more people liked _____ than ______?  You can graph a few different things if you’d like, or you can use them as a warm-up to…

Graph the Number of Letters in Our Names
I usually tie this one in to Chrysanthemum, which is another book that most kids have heard ad nauseum.  After reading the book, have kids write the number of letters in their name on their sticky (reuse the ones from before), and graph the number of letters (you can also use a line plot to do this if you want to get fancy!).  You’ll find that most kids have between 5 and 7 letters, but it can usually lead to some interesting discussions.  See where this one takes you.

Bottom line…keep ‘em busy with activities that can somehow apply to school-type things.

Above All, Remember That They Are Just As Nervous As You Are

They ARE just kids, after all.  But feel free to sprinkle some ready confetti under your pillow, just in case (winky face emoji).
http://sunnydaysinsecondgrade.blogspot.com/2011/07/ready-confetti.html