Oh, so pleather pants aren't appropriate to wear to school? Ever?

I thank my lucky stars every day that Facebook wasn’t around in my college years, as it would have been a scrapbook for all sorts of bad decisions, highlighted by pictures of me in my club-going gear.  Nary was there a night out from 2002 to 2005 where I thought it would be a good idea to cover up my stomach or to not wear a lace top with only a black bra underneath (thank you Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera for being my fashion icons).  Ah college memories…

But I digress…

Suffice to say, when I got my real-person-grown-up job, I had a bit of closet-cleaning to do.  Apparently it’s not appropriate to wear pleather pants and a Lycra top to school (I know, right??  I was just as surprised as you!).  While I am fairly embarrassed to say that I wore the above-named “pleather bonanza” outfit to more than one ‘N Sync concert because I was under the impression that I was dressed “nicely,” it soon became apparent that I had to retrain my brain as to what was considered a “nice outfit,” and also “school appropriate.”

If you are currently going through the same dilemma that I went through, this “Is My Outfit School Appropriate?” Flow chart may be of some assistance.

Now, while I think men are super—granted, I have a husband, and he’s a pretty cool guy (I mean, to put up with me, he’s gotta be, bless his heart), and I also have several male celebrity crushes (Justin Timberlake, Zac Efron, I won’t bore you with my whole list)—the thing is though, I am not a man.  To quote Elaine from Seinfeld, “I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things!”  So I kinda know a little bit about men’s clothes, but not really all that much.  And while teaching is a predominantly female field (don’t jump down my throat, I’m not being sexist, it just is), there are a good number of phenomenal male teachers.  For such folk, I also have created the “Is My Outfit School Appropriate?” Male Edition flow chart.  To their credit, guys are usually pretty good about dressing for school, but just in case…

There is one addendum, one trump card if you will:  Spirit Days!  For some teachers, it brings about feelings of annoyance and dread (“kids are crazy every day, they don’t need any reason to start acting CRAZIER!”).  I am not one of those teachers.  I love spirit days!  Any chance to wear pajamas to school is a good day in my book.  On spirit days, the majority of the above rules don't apply (pleather pants are always a no-go, just FYI).  So go all out on spirit days, you have my permission…just make sure you’re fairly covered up and your PJ pants aren’t made of material that is so thin it’s almost see-through (true story).